Take a second and think about your lifelong dream. Now, imagine somebody told you – in a matter of months your dream can come true, all you have to do is say yes. How would you feel?

Angry? Afraid? Like the world is breaking apart? Probably, those weren’t your choice of words. But that’s how I first felt.

Why so negative?

I didn’t recognize the opportunity that would help me make my dream come true. We always imagine since it is our dream there will be the perfect setting, perfect scenario, perfect everything. Nope, not in real life. Your dream might be nice and shiny but it is most likely that you will come it across as something raw and ugly. And then it is your choice whether to turn it into something beautiful or stay in your comfort zone. Sounds cheesy but it is true.

What is this dream I am on about? I always wanted to live somewhere next to mountains but unfortunately, I was born in the flat country of Latvia. In fact, whenever people asked what I wanted to do (as in profession) I never had a proper answer because what I truly wanted to do is live in a small mountain village and write books. That’s the only place I saw myself in. But of course, that hasn’t yet happened. At the time of writing, I am 26, and I always thought that perhaps in my thirties or forties this will be real.

After finishing high-school I moved to London to study in university. Why didn’t I choose to move someplace with mountains? Well, I could have moved to Bavaria, Austria or even Norway but I was too scared as I didn’t know their language. And so, after 7 years in the UK, an opportunity has appeared – I CAN MOVE TO ALPS IN SWITZERLAND.

Naturally, the timing is not perfect and there are dozens of problems and sacrifices I have to make:

• Problem No. 1 the tenancy in my current flat in London ends after 13 months.
• Problem No. 2 I just started a new job.
• Problem No. 3 Most likely I won’t have a job or friends and will spend my days alone while my partner is away working.
• Problem No. 4 What if I and my partner don’t have enough money to survive in expensive Switzerland?
• Problem No. 5 I feel at home in my London flat so what if I hate the new place?

If only this Switzerland opportunity came after a year, that would make things so much easier and (perhaps) I wouldn’t even hesitate to move.

So many what ifs. What if I hate living in the mountains? After all, I have lived in the big city of London for most of my adult life. There are so many things I like about it, though many more why I hate it.

Decision

During the past days, while making this major decision, I have gone through tears, sleepless nights, anxiety attacks, as well as bursts of excitement. And after all this I have come to a conclusion – I will regret it for the rest of my life if I never try.

It may turn out my dream was just that – a dream, that I didn’t really want to live in. Or perhaps this will be the greatest experience of my life.
Let’s see.

I am starting to feel positive and the very first thing I wanted to do, after saying yes to my dream, is – write. And after years of writer’s block and doubts whether I even can write, this for me is a huge accomplishment. I am not in mountains yet but somehow writing about this experience feels natural.

Stay tuned to hear my story.

 

Originally this article was written in early December 2017.